Big Shop with Little Helpers

Mark Parenting, Popular 5 Comments

As a seasoned stay-at-home dad I should know better than to do a big shop with little helpers.

I guess it’s like my relationship with KFC; every few years I just need reminding of why it’s best avoided.

The warning signs were all there. Their eagerness to help for a start, that’s not normal. Then there were the items added to my shopping list which were more than a little troubling.… read the full post.

Like Riding a Bike

Mark Parenting 5 Comments

I’ll tell you what’s not like riding a bike. Teaching kids to ride a bike, that’s what!

Maybe I’m doing this whole parenting thing wrong, but am I the only parent whose memorable moments haven’t quite lived up to the advertised ‘awwww’?

Take Sonny’s first smile. Definitely wind. It’s the same face he pulls now when sneaking up on his brother before letting one rip.… read the full post.

Rules of the Pool

Mark Parenting 6 Comments

Everyone knows the rules of the pool.

No running, ducking, bombing or heavy petting.

The latter might seem laughable to any younger readers, but before Easyjet flew you to Magaluf for a sleazy weekend, swimming pools were a hotbed of inappropriateness. A heady mix of plastic palm trees, wave machines, speedo’s and verruca socks.

By the mid-eighties, poolside petting had become an epidemic of amorousness.… read the full post.

Better Call Sonny

Mark Parenting, Popular 6 Comments

Had an accident in the playground that wasn’t your fault? Better call Sonny.

If it was your fault, say nothing and call him anyway.

This is a conversation we had a few days ago…

Sonny: “Have I got PPI?”

Me: “No”

Sonny: “You sure?”

Me: “Yep.”

Sonny: “… think I might have.”

Me: “Pretty sure you’ve not.”

Sonny: “…… might put a claim in anyway.”

WTF?… read the full post.

How to Survive the Apocalypse

Mark Parenting 3 Comments

The apocalypse in question being a four day screen ban. Yep, you read that right. Four days. Ninety eight hours. Five thousand, seven hundred and …

He only had himself to blame. He knew I was watching the football when he started working through his nightly ritual of why he couldn’t get to sleep. He needed tucking in for the umpteenth time.… read the full post.