It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Mark Parenting, Uncategorised 5 Comments

… and it’s difficult not to be swept up by it all.

To be honest, I think the kids may have already peaked. Wake up any earlier and they’ll be eating their breakfast yesterday.

I blame the advent calendar. Who doesn’t want to wake up at 5am for a suspiciously greying chocolate from a traditionally festive Marvel Avengers calendar?

It wasn’t like this in my day. I grew up with the excitement of opening pictures, and not even the third candle in as many weeks was enough to dampen my enthusiasm, because I had double-door twenty-four to look forward to, and that beats any misshapen excuse of a chocolate Poundland has to offer.

Then there’s my Instagram feed, which has become little more than Tinder for Christmas trees,

“better than mine, better than mine, better than mine, ooh a diseased spruce … nope, still better than mine…”

I’d tried to postpone the inevitable this year by telling them our tree was on a slow boat from Norway. An impossible tale to spin when you’ve had a fake tree cluttering up your dining room all year long, having never quite made it back up to the loft.

“Can we put the tree up?”

“No”

“Can we put the tree up?”

“No”

“Can we put the tree up?”

“No”

“Can we put the tree up?”

“For the love of God, OK!”

To be fair, putting up the tree has become a family occasion, of sorts. My pontificating over the order it fits together loses Janet’s interest. Unfurling all the branches has Sonny gone. Untangling the lights and,

“Luca? LUCA! I thought you were helping?”

Of course, they all reappear when it comes to decorating it, at which point I slope off for a lie down.

“Shall we rearrange the entire room so the tree can be in the window?”

“… or shall I squeeze it between the TV and the door like every other year and just ask guests to climb over the sofa?”

It’s not helped by my increasing angst over the plight of the fallen baubles. Give it a week and the kids will be more scared of swinging the door open than they are of talking to strangers.

And then there’s school.

They’ve been having an advent assembly every morning, from which Sonny has learned that baptism brings zombies back to life, and Luca believes the school virtue for December is peace and quiet?

One is playing way too much Minecraft and his brother has taken to ad-libbing. I suspect neither is giving it their fullest of attention.

And what of the school nativity, which they appear to have been rehearsing since early October.

This year Sonny has landed his biggest acting role to date. He’s the Kings servants second cousin. I think. All I know is that he’s so far down the cast list that his costume appears to be a tablecloth from the school canteen. Luca has the far trickier role of sitting quietly at the side, which already has me nervous.

I’m hoping this years nativity is less traditional than previous years. A little less sombre, and, well … Christiany(?) I know, I winced when I wrote that, too; it is the nativity after all.

I’m hoping they might add a modern, topical twist. I don’t know, maybe Joseph could enter Bethlehem clinging to the underside of a donkey? Mary could lop out a boob and start breast-feeding while the Kings shuffle around awkwardly, not knowing where to look? Donald Trump as King Herod?

And I wonder why I’ve never been invited to join the PTA.

But for all my grumblings, I’m really looking forward to Christmas this year. Christmas dinner is planned if not yet ordered, letters have arrived from Santa, and I’m really looking forward to spending time with the family and the boys opening my their toys.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and I for one can’t wait.

Comments 5

    1. Post
      Author

      Ooh, Simon Cowell. Might go back and change it, then delete this comment and claim it as my own.

      Hope you have a fab Christmas too. Look forward to hearing all about it.

  1. Our oldest (Caleb) is still only 2, so I don’t think he will quite realise what’s going on this year. What sort of toys have you given them/yourself? Caleb is getting a trampoline which I’m planning on commandeering several times and otherwise attacking him with the garden hose. Yes, a hose. It is probably going to be a sweltering 40 degrees on Christmas day here in South Australia!

    1. Post
      Author

      Wow, what I’d do for a 40 degrees Christmas! Sadly we only have a back yard so an misjudged jump on a trampoline would see them landing in an alleyway. Not sure the comedy value would justify the trip to A&E … or so I keep trying to convince myself …

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