Lovebombing

Mark Parenting, Popular 10 Comments

When I first heard about Lovebombing I assumed the thesis had been written by a toddler studying ‘The Gullibility of Parents’ at Tumble University.

Then I read a lovely post on Sussex Mama’s blog, coupled with an article in the Guardian, and noting neither were published on April 1st I decided there was little harm in giving it a go.

Luca doesn’t have behavioural problems but he does have delayed speech. Whatever the reasons I don’t think having an older brother doing all his talking and monopolising my attention has helped, so a little more one-on-one time was long overdue.

Going away for a night as prescribed wasn’t practical (or affordable) so instead I gave Luca full control of our day. Lovebombing-lite.

It began with breakfast. His Weetabix soon included Cheerios and Special K. With his bowl overflowing he decided he’d prefer porridge … lemon porridge? His inspiration was cordial but we agreed on mixing in a lemon mouse, and fair play, it tasted better than you’d imagine.

Hunger satisfied we then walked around the house turning lights on and off whilst wearing wellies?

A pack of flash cards then made for the perfect ice-rink. As usual I explained he’d hurt himself, which he did, twice, but in-between he laughed, a lot.

For a snack he always points to the biscuit tin. I always offer fruit. He’s quite clearly thinking,
“I want a biscuit. Don’t take me for a fool now, if I wanted a banana I’d point at the bloody bananas! Just give me a damn biscuit!”
We went straight to the Jammy Dodgers.

For a drink he chose a cocktail of cordials, which everyone knows doesn’t work, but don’t we all have to find out for ourselves?

We read. An IKEA catalogue, twice, and a Chinese take-away menu, a dozen times?

Instead of making the beds we bounced on them. The clothes horse became a den. The wardrobe was emptied so he could hide in it.

We unrolled toilet rolls, and rather than just wash our hands we kept the plug in and filled the sink with bubbles.

For lunch he chose banana and noodles with Weetabix and a Baby-bel for pudding.

I suggested we go to the park, he preferred to watch back-to-back Bits and Bobs.

Rather than the usual late dash in the buggy to collect Sonny from nursery we allowed ourselves extra time so he could walk all the way, stopping to peer down every drain and kick through every pile of leaves.

It was only a morning but it was a morning full of smiles and laughter. It’s amazing how much of our day is dictated by my needs rather than his wants.

We generally have fun anyway but it was lovely to immerse ourselves in his imagination without my usual insistence of knowing what’s best.

We’ll definitely be doing it again, and with Sonny too, although I can’t help but worry that Sonny’s day will involve at least one trip to A&E?

Comments 10

  1. Thats such a lovely idea. I’m trying to work out how to do this with my 4 without the inevitable cries of ‘It’s not fair…’

    Mark replied …
    Haha, 4 does make it a wee bit tricky. I must admit if Sonny wasn’t at nursery then his inevitable tantrums would have definitely put pay to anyone else’s fun!

    Thank-you for reading and commenting.

  2. What a fabulous sounding morning! It’s so nice not to nag, I love Luca’s choice of foods….all food groups accounted for and the banana got chosen as well- just not maybe where we would have put it in our day!

    Mark replied…
    I hadn’t even recognised his diet of choice. He’s got a better handle on it than I have!

  3. I may try this. It is such a lovely idea. I have to be honest though it absolutely terrifies me.

    Mark replied …
    I think Janet was a little terrified as well, mainly about where I’d draw the line between fun and neglect?

  4. Brilliant…. We have days at the weekend sometimes when no one gets dressed and we all stay in our pj’s the intire day:)

    Mark replied ….
    I’m all for that! I have days in the week like that, the boys aren’t impressed if we’re walking around the market!

  5. Oooh do let us know when you plan to do that with two of them, think Mum might need to be around to supervise.
    Does it normally involve a night away? Maybe I need to get myself a bit of lovebombing? Or is that something entirely different?

    Mark replied …
    Dear God I’m not doing it with them both at once!
    I think the going away idea is aimed at older kids.

    I think the adult lovebombing is a specialist publication, we’ll soon find out when I see the search strings that find my blog?

  6. that’s my sort of Dad day. Not quite sure who would get the most out of the lovebomb

    Mark replied …
    I’m still not convinced who got the most out of ours.

  7. I promise my son, or rather myself, to do this when he’s old enough to tell me what he wants. This sounds so much fun!! Also, lemon porridge? I’m definitely going to try this!

    Mark replied….
    The lemon porridge was a revelation!

  8. What a lovely idea! And so interesting to see just how he’d like to spend his day…

    (also love your blog design)

    Mark replied …
    It was a bit of an eye-opener, and thank-you for reading and commenting.

  9. I have never heard of this concept before but i think i certainly need to look more into this, it sounds fab!

    Thanks for linking up with #magicmoments

  10. I’ve heard of love bombing before. I’m sure my 2 yr old would love it. Must give it a go sometime whilst my eldest is at school. Really enjoyed reading your post and found you via #magicmoments

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