For us Northerners, Blackpool illuminations is a rite of passage. It's a coming of age moment. Right up there with your first Greggs pasty, chip barms and rickets.
I'll not lie, I had high expectations. So much so I may have bigged it up a little too much.
Duinrell Family Park - Canvas Holidays
Big Shop with Little Helpers
Like Riding a Bike
Not those kind of confessions, get your mind out of the gutter.
If you were expecting this to begin with a rugged plumber knocking at the door I can only apologise. The most excitement you'd get from me in that scenario is if he didn't condemn our boiler for another year.
Had an accident in the playground that wasn't your fault? Better call Sonny.
If it was your fault, say nothing and call him anyway.
This is a conversation we had a few days ago...
Sonny: “Have I got PPI?”
Sonny: “You sure?”
Sonny: “... think I might have.”
Me: “Pretty sure you've not.”
I'm good at doing nothing. Really good. I'm not blowing my own trumpet, that would be doing something, and my expertise is definitely in doing nothing.
In its purest form I'm a master. I can sit on the sofa without distraction and do absolutely nothing for hours.
When Janet asks what I'm thinking,
"Nothing", is an honest reply.
We've loved our early summer but it's also brought with it some new problems. Getting the boys to put suntan lotion on has become such a daily battle that by the time I've pinned the boys down long enough to smear it all over their clothes and in their eyes we might as well be putting pajamas on.
I love everything about France, even if my last trip was memorable for very different reasons. But then who's not nearly been arrested for human trafficking at some point in their lives? Really, just me?
A couple of weeks ago we were invited down to London for a Tesco Toy Casting; at RADA no less.
Our travel expenses were paid for and as the boys had never been to London we decided to make a weekend of it and visit some friends we see all too rarely.
He loved it. A little too much.
He was last seen taking constructive criticism from a two year old.
You see, Luca likes to inspect, as our builder will no doubt testify; if you can find him.
Having our backyard demolished and rebuilt has brought much excitement.
I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but you know that image of a polar bear clinging to an iceberg? That's me in the shower that is. And if you're thinking hippo in a bathtub, shame on you!
It all began when the kids first scaled Mount Stair-gate. Until then, upstairs was a savannah of sanity.