For us Northerners, Blackpool illuminations is a rite of passage. It's a coming of age moment. Right up there with your first Greggs pasty, chip barms and rickets.
I'll not lie, I had high expectations. So much so I may have bigged it up a little too much.
Duinrell Family Park - Canvas Holidays
Big Shop with Little Helpers
Like Riding a Bike
As a seasoned stay-at-home dad I should know better than to do a big shop with little helpers.
I guess it's like my relationship with KFC; every few years I just need reminding of why it's best avoided.
The warning signs were all there. Their eagerness to help for a start, that's not normal.
Just in case I have to apply for a job in the future and need to explain my appearance on some council register it's probably best that I put today's 'incident' on record.
On Friday, Luca emerged excitedly from school with the class bear tucked under his arm, along with a book chronicling its previous adventures. A book that reads more like the ultimate '50 things to do before you die' than any weekend I've ever experienced.
My weekend plans were in tatters.
A few months ago I read what was possibly my favourite ever tweet …
At the time it really made me chuckle. Not so much now.
You see that 68-year-old man is a comrade; a true brother in arms.
"Can we go through the car wash?" Sonny asked expectantly.
"Yes, can we?" added Janet.
"Why not!" I replied (it was mothers day after all!?!)
And so began another experience to leave Sonny scarred for the remainder of his life.
At first I thought he'd had a seizure. Then I assumed it must be a tribute to Thriller. An attempt at the YMCA in the style of his own illegible handwriting?
He wasn't entertaining my questions.
Ooh, I know this one. You can put your urban dictionary away, this dad has skillz in the spoken word of the yoof.
It was based on a book by the same name which had really captured the boys imagination.
Sonny has numerous favourites, teddy one, teddy two, elephant, chicken, rabbit one, two, three ...
Tonka have launched a new range of toys under the umbrella of Tonka Town which I'm sure you'll have seen the adverts for, and they kindly asked if the boys and I would like to review the Fire Station Playset.
Which came first, the campsite or the amusement park?
As is often the case, my question fell on deaf ears as we arrived at the fabulous Duinrell Holiday Park in the Netherlands, courtesy of Canvas Holidays.
I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but you know that image of a polar bear clinging to an iceberg? That's me in the shower that is. And if you're thinking hippo in a bathtub, shame on you!
It all began when the kids first scaled Mount Stair-gate. Until then, upstairs was a savannah of sanity.