For us Northerners, Blackpool illuminations is a rite of passage. It's a coming of age moment. Right up there with your first Greggs pasty, chip barms and rickets.
I'll not lie, I had high expectations. So much so I may have bigged it up a little too much.
Duinrell Family Park - Canvas Holidays
Big Shop with Little Helpers
Like Riding a Bike
Not only could I carbon date my housework from within the mountain of clothes, but also my life.
I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying both peaked around 2009.
I can empathise with HMRC. You start with a basic fundamental principal that relies on the goodwill of all concerned (i.e. Pay. Your. Tax), and before long the less scrupulous are finding ways around it.
So you legislate. You introduce new laws that inevitably get flouted, so you legislate some more.
It was a conspiracy of guilt that made me take him.
Firstly I was doorstepped by a Mori pollster who wanted to question me about the out of school activities my boys did. When I said nothing she gave me a look of disgust like she'd just noticed I was naked but for a gimp mask.
To celebrate World Book Day we've been recycling old books to create new stories.
In our defence of it not being outright sacrilege, they were the type of dull books you get free with a jigsaw. No worthy books were harmed in the making of our new story, I promise.
We are no longer allowed within 100 yards of any public toilet. Not on legal grounds I should add (although worrying I felt that necessary), but because Sonny lost a fight with a hand-dryer.
Not your standard namby-pamby hand-dryer that gently tickles the water from your hands, no, Sonny chose to battle a Turbo powered Dyson hand-dryer.
A couple of weeks ago I saw an advert for Gulliver's World and thought what most people do, lets go to Alton Towers! Lets face it, they don't need to advertise as every other Theme Park does it for them.
Which came first, the campsite or the amusement park?
As is often the case, my question fell on deaf ears as we arrived at the fabulous Duinrell Holiday Park in the Netherlands, courtesy of Canvas Holidays.
Due to hand-held technology the dexterity of our thumbs is evolving at a frightening rate.
In fifty years they'll apparently have superseded the forefinger as the preferred digit with which to point.
Well most people, I suspect my boys are going to persevere with their lazy nod.
As a cash-strapped stay-at-home dad it was a relief when for her birthday Janet asked for a Brief History of Time.
In hindsight, and given she was watching a documentary on Stephen Hawking at the time, she probably meant the book but hey ho.
I've crossed an electronicals line this week. Twice. Thrice if you include my insistence on using the word electronicals (but lets not).
The first was with my phone. I was trying to take a photo of the kids but no matter how I held it I couldn't get my finger out of the shot.