For us Northerners, Blackpool illuminations is a rite of passage. It's a coming of age moment. Right up there with your first Greggs pasty, chip barms and rickets.
I'll not lie, I had high expectations. So much so I may have bigged it up a little too much.
Duinrell Family Park - Canvas Holidays
Big Shop with Little Helpers
Like Riding a Bike
I'd always assumed the path to embarrassing dad status would be a gradual one. A prolonged period of otherwise insignificant events, condensed into a single anecdote. A retrospective title earned through hindsight on my part and much exaggeration on theirs.
Talking a little too loudly about someone on the very next table, maybe.
I'm not going to be a cool dad. There, I've said it!
Maybe not news to anyone who knows me, but recently the boys had convinced me otherwise.
Sonny thinks it cool that I can remove his nose then screw it back on.
Luca finds it cool that I can juggle.
We were only in London for a couple of days, and yet Luca somehow managed to pick up the accent as well as some words that were totally inappropriate for one so young.
At first I was taken aback (OK, after initially being slightly amused) but as it continued for a few days it became more than a little disturbing.
‘I Can Cook’ has become a favourite program of ours, although I'm starting to think its favoured for ulterior motives. Regardless of what Katy is making it inspires Sonny into wanting to cook something completely different. Shepherds pie was interpreted as baking a cake, a Lamb cobbler inspired lolly pops, and fish pie was somehow perceived as biscuits?
I've never been one for resolutions, new year or otherwise. Much like anything left on the shelf I resolved to put up last year, they'll gradually slide until falling down the back of the sofa never to be seen again.
… and it's difficult not to be swept up by it all.
To be honest, I think the kids may have already peaked. Wake up any earlier and they'll be eating their breakfast yesterday.
I blame the advent calendar. Who doesn't want to wake up at 5am for a suspiciously greying chocolate from a traditionally festive Marvel Avengers calendar?
Which came first, the campsite or the amusement park?
As is often the case, my question fell on deaf ears as we arrived at the fabulous Duinrell Holiday Park in the Netherlands, courtesy of Canvas Holidays.
A couple of weeks ago we were invited down to London for a Tesco Toy Casting; at RADA no less.
Our travel expenses were paid for and as the boys had never been to London we decided to make a weekend of it and visit some friends we see all too rarely.
It may seem a little premature to be writing a review of 2016, but I'm not sure what my internet signal will be like if I need to bunker down with a four-year supply of tinned sardines and a wind-up torch. If Vodafone's coverage in my kitchen is anything to go by, it's not looking good.
It was a beautiful winters day in early 2011 when we met up with my whole family in Lyme Park for an afternoon stroll.
Not in this house it's not. In this house, post-truth is when I've told Janet I've cleaned the house, only for her to return from work to discover it wasn't necessarily based on objective facts.