Not that I’m bitter but if I have to spell phonetically then it’s only fair that you should too!
You see Sonny is learning to read. Luca is learning his alphabet. I’m learning to spell phonetically. Our house is a confused cacophony of sounds, letters, and headaches.
With Luca a year younger than Sonny I’ve accepted I’ll be spelling phonetically for the foreseeable future and it worries me.
I’m worried that once a phonetic speller always a phonetic speller, there may be no going back?
It’s already affecting my adult interaction. Yesterday I had to phone the DVLA. Now I have history with the DVLA, the last time I phoned them my opening line was a shout of,
“Have you wiped your bum?”
Obviously this was directed at Sonny upstairs, although for the record the poor lady at the DVLA had, but that’s by the by. Sonny’s response was,
“I wiped it last week!”, but that’s a whole different blog post.
Anyway, this phone-call was a phonetic farce. Before realising it I’d spelt, or rather sounded out, my entire registration plate. When did I realise? When the operator read it back to me including the words,
Yep, he was taking the mmmmickey!
It didn’t end there.
“Is that Mark with a C or a K?”
“It’s a kicking K”.
I then corrected myself, not for talking like a toddler but because I remembered Mrs Rowles had told me they don’t use ‘kicking k’ in school any more?
Could it get any worse? Oh it could, it most definitely could!
Our road name begins with the letter R. R, how difficult is that? Well I managed to sound it out like something between a pirate and a bloody growl!
When they began the conversation with,
“Calls may be recorded and monitored for training purposes”,
they might as well have added,
“…and for everyones amusement in the office!”
The only way they could mock me further is if the documents arrive marked ‘To the parent or guardian of Mark Bryce.”
And just one final piece of advice. Sonny’s been taught to move his arms like a robot whilst spelling a word. I think it’s something to do with rhythm? Well don’t try to do this with a phone in your hand, the person at the other end misses every second letter.
But then again why would you, you’re a GROWN ADULT!
Anyway, this is a very long-winded way of saying I was kindly sent a book called, H is for Hummus – A Modern Parent’s ABC.
The words are by Joel Rickett, the wonderful pictures by Spencer Wilson. It’s the perfect antidote to the traditional ABC book.
‘H is for Hummus’ is fabulous and brilliantly reflects the busy lives of the modern-day toddler.
A is for Apple, B is for Bear, C is for Cat. All true, but A is also for App, B is for Babychino, and C is for Calpol. I particularly like I is for Ipaddy, something I know all to well.
From Active Birthing to Zumba, all the modern references are covered and it’d make the perfect gift for parents, new, old, and soon to be.
Whilst I’m on the subject, did you know the first ever author of an ABC book also invented the Xylophone … I may have made that up …