When I first heard about Lovebombing I assumed the thesis had been written by a toddler studying ‘The Gullibility of Parents’ at Tumble University.
Then I read a lovely post on Sussex Mama’s blog, coupled with an article in the Guardian, and noting neither were published on April 1st I decided there was little harm in giving it a go.
Luca doesn’t have behavioural problems but he does have delayed speech. Whatever the reasons I don’t think having an older brother doing all his talking and monopolising my attention has helped, so a little more one-on-one time was long overdue.
Going away for a night as prescribed wasn’t practical (or affordable) so instead I gave Luca full control of our day. Lovebombing-lite.
It began with breakfast. His Weetabix soon included Cheerios and Special K. With his bowl overflowing he decided he’d prefer porridge … lemon porridge? His inspiration was cordial but we agreed on mixing in a lemon mouse, and fair play, it tasted better than you’d imagine.
Hunger satisfied we then walked around the house turning lights on and off whilst wearing wellies?
A pack of flash cards then made for the perfect ice-rink. As usual I explained he’d hurt himself, which he did, twice, but in-between he laughed, a lot.
For a snack he always points to the biscuit tin. I always offer fruit. He’s quite clearly thinking,
“I want a biscuit. Don’t take me for a fool now, if I wanted a banana I’d point at the bloody bananas! Just give me a damn biscuit!”
We went straight to the Jammy Dodgers.
For a drink he chose a cocktail of cordials, which everyone knows doesn’t work, but don’t we all have to find out for ourselves?
We read. An IKEA catalogue, twice, and a Chinese take-away menu, a dozen times?
Instead of making the beds we bounced on them. The clothes horse became a den. The wardrobe was emptied so he could hide in it.
We unrolled toilet rolls, and rather than just wash our hands we kept the plug in and filled the sink with bubbles.
For lunch he chose banana and noodles with Weetabix and a Baby-bel for pudding.
I suggested we go to the park, he preferred to watch back-to-back Bits and Bobs.
Rather than the usual late dash in the buggy to collect Sonny from nursery we allowed ourselves extra time so he could walk all the way, stopping to peer down every drain and kick through every pile of leaves.
It was only a morning but it was a morning full of smiles and laughter. It’s amazing how much of our day is dictated by my needs rather than his wants.
We generally have fun anyway but it was lovely to immerse ourselves in his imagination without my usual insistence of knowing what’s best.
We’ll definitely be doing it again, and with Sonny too, although I can’t help but worry that Sonny’s day will involve at least one trip to A&E?