Smarter than a 2 year old?

Mark Parenting 4 Comments

Where do Gorillas sleep?

There’s no punchline. Worse still, what I thought was another one of Sonny’s surreal jokes turned out to be a fact that I really wish I hadn’t spent a week mocking him over, before brazenly trying to Google him wrong… and then having to apologise for ever daring to question him in the first place.

Unless you’re as dim as me you probably already know they sleep in nests; in which case why didn’t you ever think it worthy of telling me as much, and sparing me just a little of my humble pride?

The problem now is that I feel obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt on some of his most ridiculous proclamations (at least until I’ve had a chance to secretly google his random claims).

Yesterday on our way to Manchester on a busy tram we passed a billboard showing a picture of a giraffe.
“Giraffes eat penguins don’t they daddy” he stated loudly, clearly mocking my lack of zoological knowledge in front of an audience.

“Nooo, giraffes live in Africa, and penguins live … where its cold?!?” I whispered, paranoid that the whole carriage was on the verge of a collective chuckle at my expense!

Something so obviously wrong yet it still left me bemoaning the lack of instant Wifi access in order to mock him with any degree of confidence.

I blame Andy’s Wild Adventures. It does however raise the question of why Terry Nutkins never considered nesting gorillas as a fact worthy of re-telling.

On the subject of Mr Nutkins, and just in case this fable is ever told to you as fact …

On our way to Chester Zoo, and whilst making a passing remark about Terry, I jokingly told Janet he’d died last year, and that he’d been found naked and hanging upside down from a tyre in the monkeys enclosure, with an apple tied to his mouth and a banana stuck up the other end.

I didn’t think much more about it until a few days later when I overheard her repeating the same story to somebody on the phone with a genuine shock and sadness to her voice.  I’ve no idea how many people she’d told prior to this, which scarily goes to show how easily someones premature passing can circulate on the Internet, especially when there’s people out there with so much gullibility they should probably be sectioned!?!

Comments 4

  1. I hate to tell you…but once they realise they’ve got you they become pathalogical liars! Alfie has mastered the art (he once convinced a teacher we were of Italian heritage and that his real name was Alfredo…) and has never looked back. He tells you his ‘facts’ with such confidence it’s hard to question. I love the idea of google ‘ing someone wrong…fee x

    1. According to google no, they’re herbivores so only eat leaves!
      I then asked what if there were no leaves and a penguin
      had been annoying the giraffe all day? Google just repeated the
      same answer so I guess we’ll never know.

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