I’m not sure why our neighbours are struggling to sell their house? It could be that it’s over-priced, it might be that the housing market is slow, or it may just be the crazy pigeon chasing neighbour that’s scaring away more than just the birds? If it is the latter then I should maybe pop round to apologise.
Anyway, in what I hope is the final installment, this morning our arch Nemesis returned. He was spotted by Sonny perched on a neighbours chimney although in his defence he was clearly minding his own business.
“Good morning Mr Pigeon, you’re very big Mr Pigeon aren’t you Mr Pigeon!”
Now I’m not sure which is more worrying, the fact that Sonny can apparently talk to animals or that pigeons are a little sensitive about their weight, but on hearing this he swooped down and sat on our front wall.
“You’re not my cousin(?) Mr Pigeon, I don’t love you any more Mr Pigeon!”
Sensing a tantrum I decided to act as peace-maker,
“That’s not very nice Sonny is it, we don’t tell people we don’t love them do we?”
“But I don’t love him any more, stop looking at me, shoo Mr Pigeon, shoo!” was Sonny’s reply as he scrambled over the sofa in the direction of the open window.
It was at this point I have to side with Sonny as the pigeon made what was clearly an act of aggression by hopping onto the neighbours ‘For Sale’s sign and posturing with beak raised high and chest pushed out.
“Right!” I proclaimed, donning my UN peace keepers hat and heading out the door (unfortunately still dressed in my dressing gown).
“Shoo Mr Pigeon, leave my Sonny alone! Shoo now, shoo!” I bellowed whilst waving and clapping my hands like a crazy person, aware that Sonny was watching closely from the window and was still teetering on the brink of a tantrum.
As the bird took flight, and with an unnecessary shake of the fist I yelled,
“…and don’t come back you hear me?”
Given the circumstances I don’t feel my actions were so mental, but I suppose if I look at it from my neighbours perspective as she was showing a young couple down the drive I can kind of understand the glare she gave me which clearly said,
“I hate you!”
I suppose the most disappointing thing is that the young couple looked lovely and we would have been delighted if they’d moved in, a sentiment I’m sure my neighbours would share, although I think there may be more chance of the pigeon returning than the potential buyers.
Unfortunately I also have previous when it comes to embarrasing performances in my dressing gown … I’m not sure I’ll ever learn?