You see, the boys have a favourite phrase that I hear at least a dozen times a day. It’s only three words. Three innocuous little words that when uttered in the same breath rip at my soul and induce tears of despair. Three words that make me question my will to be a stay at home dad, nigh to live.
Three simple words …
I’ve tried to embrace it, by god I’ve tried, but I have nothing left to offer. Nothing!
My nightmares are now littered with burnt out Corgi cars abandoned along a desolate hot wheels track to nowhere, or hell, or worse still the temporary traffic lights on the coffee table.
Every hour of every day the cars will meet in the middle of the floor.
They introduce themselves, and then comes that awkward silence where I’m faced with the expectant stare of two boys and the eager glare of many headlights.
“Who wants a snack?”
I know, it’s pathetic. The cars are still there when we get back, but then why wouldn’t they be, we’ve not filled them up with petrol or flying power yet.
Were this real life you’d find me in the petrol station hiding behind the de-icers, waiting for everyone to drive away. But it’s not real life, they have all the time in the world, and besides, they’re not going anywhere until I bring out the turbo boosters I went in to buy.
It’s not always been like this. We’ve been on so many adventures together. We’ve explored the cushion mountains, the vast metropolis of the garden, the furthest corners of the bedrooms, and even toured the local playgrounds.
I’ve added shops, car parks, and roadworks. Built castles, tunnels, and a car wash. Incorporated hide and seek, treasure hunts, and riddles. I’ve strained every last sinew of my imagination to a point way beyond its best before date.
Even Sir Edmond Hillary must have reached a point where he looked out at the vastness of the arctic and thought,
“It’s just more of the same bloody snow!”
And that’s where I’m at. I’m done. I’ve reached a dead end.
But there’s light at the end of the toilet roll tunnel.
Last week the boys finally accepted they had too many cars. We discussed the virtues of giving to charity and they agreed to donate some of their fleet to the charity shop. And by some I mean one. And by one I mean the plastic dumper truck with a missing wheel.
But still, from small acorns ….