Uncool Dad

Mark Fatherhood, Parenting, Popular, Uncategorised 12 Comments

I’m not going to be a cool dad. There, I’ve said it!

Maybe not news to anyone who knows me, but recently the boys had convinced me otherwise.

Sonny thinks it cool that I can remove his nose then screw it back on.

Luca finds it cool that I can juggle.

It wasn’t that long ago that my nephews thought it cool that I used to be a WWE wrestler by the name of ‘The Willy Warmer’, with a signature move called the ‘Back, Sack, and Crack’.

My confidence was such that I was convinced that in their teenage years my boys would invite me into their room to introduce their mates to my old Smiths vinyl, or to tell them about the time I saw an unsigned Arctic Monkeys or The Arcade Fire play a half-full basement in Manchester.

Then last week I commented on a chart song being just noise. I also referred to a stereo as a ‘Boombox’?

I used to hold my own on a games console. Recently I referred to such devices as ‘Electronicals’. I also threw down a controller in frustration when the explanation of how to play went beyond left, right, and jump.

I’m ashamed to admit that today I uttered the cringe-worthy line,

“If you eat any more grapes you’ll turn into one!”

It was met with the disdain it deserved.

I’m not bitter. In hindsight I was never going to be a cool dad if I wasn’t ever cool in the first place.

What I will be though is an embarrassing dad, that I am confident about.

Confident because I already have a lengthy list of ways I intend to embarrass them.

Confident because when I think about it now I’m already chuckling to myself.

Confident because that’s what dads do without trying; and I fully intend to try, and try very, very, hard.

Comments 12

  1. te he…my boys told everyone they know, including teachers, about their famous uncle. Wish you’d thought of a more appropriate signature move!!!
    It makes me chuckle to embarrass (and think about embarrassing)them. Doesn’t take much. Last week when walking through the village Alfie told me that the girls approaching us were friends from school. So I simply took his hand. Job done. He didn’t see it coming and didn’t let go quick enough. I chuckled all the way home. fee x

  2. I liked this 🙂 I think it’s better not to be cool – means you can do whatever you like and it doesn’t matter if you look like a fool!! That’s what I do 😉

    As for gaming, don’t be too hard on yourself, I used to be a beast at the original first person shooters and now I can’t play them because I get motion sickness!!! Loser!!

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      Ha, I’ve suffered from the motion sickness too … playing Mario!?

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment, much appreciated.

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      You’re welcome to it, I’ve been told I’ll be disowned by the whole family if I ever repeat it in public?

      Thanks for reading.

  3. We’re a geek family thanks to our love of games, sci-fi, books, films, gadgets etc and we know at some point technology will beat us at long jump and leave is eating the sand. However we know how parental controls work, we know what Resident Evil is about and Grand Theft Auto isn’t just about racing around in any car you like. So even when we are left behind after technology passes us and we are too out of breath to follow we still have some tricks up our sleeves! Perhaps not “cool” but hey such is life 😉

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      I’m not sure exactly when technology passed me by, I must have had my head in an instruction manual at the time. I know, a man reading instructions, that’s how behind I am!

  4. What an original blog. Great ‘typewriter’ layout. Have tried explaining to my son about typewriters and why we have QWERTY keyboards. Good Luck !

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