**There is no question.
I used to read quite a lot. I suppose I still do, albeit in bursts of 140 characters or less. In my defence it’s difficult to concentrate on anything longer than that when you have two boys outside the door shouting,
“Daddy, are you having a wee or a poo?”
Aside from Twitter, my reading habits are now almost entirely based in the children’s section. I stopped looking at ‘must read’ lists a long time ago after accepting my brain will forever translate any word after ‘must’ as ‘sleep’.
Luckily the boys love a good book, and if I’m completely honest I’m actually far happier reading about the Pirates Next Door than any of the gubbins Dan Brown sees fit to publish.
Recently though our reading has taken an evil and dastardly turn. It’s become contaminated. Infested by a new breed of literature that until now was completely foreign to their bookshelf. Something so awful and soul-destroying I wouldn’t be surprised to discover it was written in a dark basement by an evil and jealous sibling of Julia Donaldson. These are books that the boys are meant to read … to me!
Honestly, if I find out there’s no phonetically good reason for the characters being called Biff, Chip, and Kipper then this drivel won’t survive Bonfire Night!
I understand the purpose of the books but I can’t disguise my lack of enthusiasm, nor can I help passing judgement under my breath. They may learn to read but they’ll also have added some words to their vocabulary that most definitely did not come from the book.
Thankfully they know it’s a means to an end; that better books await. For every Biff there’s a Superworm. For every Chip, a Mr Magnolia. And for every Kipper there’s someone going on a Bear Hunt.
Did you see what I did there? Oh come on, that link was seamless!
We’re Going on a Bear Hunt is a classic. Something we first read over a year ago, and which we’ll no doubt keep returning to for years to come thanks to their granny teaching them the accompanying actions.
Well, now there’s a parody of it. We’re Going on a Bar Hunt.
It’s very funny. If you’re a parent who’s ever attempted to leave the house after having kids then this is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.